Get Out of a Marriage Slump & Truly Be Known

How much would you pay—or do or give—to keep your marriage from going a drift? Or to get it back on track? To bring it to something that is as soul-filling and tantalizing as it once was?

The Marriage Drift

This past weekend, as I was listening to the Marriage More Podcast {a down-to-earth reflection on making “more” of your marriage, with Jeff & Mandy Rose}, I could not help but nod my head in agreement as they shared the honesty of their marriage drift. It was not a huge schism or a dramatic escalation of anger, but rather a realization of a simple drift from what it once was to what it had become.

9 Steps Course Becky and David

It happens.

You may not even see it until, one day, you step back and wonder…have I even looked my guy in the eyes once this week? Have I paused to settle into my gal’s embrace longer than a quick pat over top of the kids at our feet?

Certainly even before we had kids, we saw that our marriage was not as we wanted it to be. The same old arguments…over and over again. We were still doing life together, but we were not thriving in the way we had dreamed.

And you would think that after we found a new language in StrengthsFinder to describe and reveal the difference between us and the reasons for our missteps and misunderstandings, that we would ensure that it never went adrift again.

That we never let it slump.

Reality says, however, that even today, there are days that we step back and think—“is this marriage really what we want it to be?” And often times, the answer is a sobering—“No.”

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What Your Marriage Could Be

The ConnectednessBelief blood that runs deeply through my veins is absolutely certain that every person is wired with a desire to Know and Be Known. We crave it. We falter when we lack it. It is why we want to meet for brunch or head to a party or commit to a church or hang at a networking meeting or share a cup of coffee.

In a large part, it is why we marry—to know and be known in the most intimate and sacred of ways—by that one person who excites, entertains and engages us from the start.

And on that Wedding Day, we have found it—we are on the ecstatic journey to know and be known. It lights up our eyes and our souls. That day, we feel known.

Until another day, a bit further down the road, when we realize that perhaps we do not know that bed-sharing-person so deeply at all, or we ourselves do not feel all that known.

We wonder if he’s changed. If she’s not the same as she used to be. We wonder if we have.

It is disturbing…if not heartbreaking.

9 Steps Course Burning House

What if—when we find ourselves drifting or slumping or spiraling—what if we can turn it all around. What if we can bring back those moments that light up our eyes? That stimulate our minds? That engage our souls?

Today, I venture to say…we can.

We can:

  • know the nuances of ourselves so deeply that we can’t help but share them and live them with our spouse
  • see through the frequent {or repetitive!} conflict we bare, to the root of what will really fix it
  • discover the secret to getting our deepest, most salient needs met
  • see into the heart and soul of that one we chose, in a new and enlightened way
  • we can have the tough, fruitful, and connecting conversations that draw us nearer
  • we can know our own contribution to what has grown to be “too much” or “too little” and begin to reverse it to what is “just right”
  • we can laugh more and fight less
  • we can dream more and fret less
  • we can know and be known in a deeply authentic and targeted way

How much would you pay–or do or give–to connect more deeply with your spouse? To feel respected? To feel honored?

StrengthsFinder can lead you there.

A Proven Way to Connect More Deeply

The StrengthsFinder language and the Strengths-orientation in our lives DID literally rescue us from the daily plight of our missteps. But, it was not enough just to think about it once and move on. Rather, for the connecting power of StrengthsFinder to really seep into the depths of our marriage, we had to {HAVE to!} live it DAILY.

StrengthsFinder 9 Steps Course Marriage Slump Becky and David Quote

Last fall, here at Isogo, we introduced the 9 Steps to Life Change through your Strengths series. We blogged about it over the course of 10 weeks and chatted it about via Facebook live over the same period.

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Over the past several years, the steps of this very series have become David’s and my habit of living, as we strive to connect more deeply, with less conflict—as we try to get our marriage out of the slumps we find ourselves in. These are also the steps through which I take my own clients—both corporate and private.

They have proven to be life-changing.

At Isogo, our mission is to FUEL that.

So today, those same 9 Steps are within reach for you, too—the very ones that get my marriage out of a slump, every time. The very ones that get rave reviews by my team clients and 1-on-1 clients.

The 9 Steps to Life Change Through Your Strengths course can be the restart you need to get your marriage out of a slump and your work into a flow. It is poignant, original, and tailored to the way you are most naturally wired.

So, I invite you to explore and join me on the 9 Steps to Life Change Through Your Strengths.

PLUS–for three days, we are offering a HUGE DISCOUNT. Click on the image below to read about every detail of the course and the discount you DON’T want to miss out on.

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Links & Resources

9 Steps to Life Change Through Your Strengths Course
The Marriage More Podcast & Blog
Does your Marriage need a new beginning? This is what ours looked like
{9 Steps} to Life Change through your StrengthsFinder Top 5 Strengths
ITV Episode 6 | How We Saved Our Marriage
ITV Episode 30 | What Your Marriage Needs To Get Out of a Downward Spiral
Episode 35 | An Inside Look from Becky—How Isogo’s Vision Includes You

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As always, one of the best places to join the Strengths conversation is over at our Facebook Group — Energy Up Frustration Down by Strengths. Join us as we all try to figure out just how to use our Strengths to impact the most important things around us—in our work and life.

If you’re thinking about the way a Strengths-perspective could impact your marriage or your family or you’re just not so sure about it all, reach out, and let’s connect about it. You can catch me at FacebookTwitter or Instagram, all at @isogostrong, or by this handy contact form.

Enjoy your day, and {be strong}!

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