Why is it that I try to talk myself out of being introverted? (Or rather, think myself out of it, I should more aptly say). Especially when it comes to managing—I’ll be the outgoing, boisterous one because that is what I admire in others who have led me. I’ll be the quick-witted, always-chatty, never-a-space-too-quiet-to-fill kind of manager. And I’ll think I’m successful, that I’m leading well…until I crash in exhaustion, with unthought-through decisions or stories or promises running through my head. And I have to think, how’s that working out for you??
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The more I learn, the more I know this pretty basic idea to be true:
If you are introverted by nature, your most successful position as a manager will be introverted, too.
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I have learned even more about this in my time as a temporarily single parent. Because there is no one over 3.5 feet tall physically present at home most of the time, it is easier to take a couple extra beats before deciding or responding, and I have realized this has done me well. I make better, more tempered decisions with less emotional, more thoughtful responses. The same is true of the role of an introverted manager.
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Among the Introverted: David Letterman
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Thomas Jefferson Explains Introversion
In the HBO docudrama, John Adams, Adams and Thomas Jefferson (famously introverted) have a private conversation that very clearly and very simply defines the introvert and his plight of misunderstanding.
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Adams: (with hushed intensity) We are about to take a leap in the dark Mr. Jefferson.
Jefferson: (a pause, and calm reply) I would gladly lend my hand to sink the whole island of Great Britain in the ocean.
Adams: (in shock) I have not heard you say three words together in the last congress. With such passion, I regret that you have not made your mind more plainly known.
Jefferson: (responds simply) I have no gift for oratory.
Adams, who always speaks his mind and then some, stares at him in disbelief. Jefferson nods slightly and walks away.
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What a succinct insight into the mind of an introvert, and an introvert that not only wrote the founding document of the United States but also led the nation as the highest leader of the land.
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An introvert is someone who is gets energy from time alone, refuels in the respite of her own head versus by the stimulation of others. He is not necessarily shy. Nor does she necessarily shy away from public speaking or social engagements. Rather he refuels on his own and takes space to think.
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Among the Introverted: Abraham Lincoln
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Power of an Introverted Manager
We have to start here. We have to believe–the introverted and the nots–that being introverted is a strength.
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I was once in an interview where I was told that the position required “an extrovert who could think on her feet.” That never sat well with me. It is not necessarily the case that these two things go hand in hand. Plenty of extroverts process out loud but don’t get to an answer quickly. And plenty of introverts reflect silently in the moment and respond thoughtfully and immediately.
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As an introverted manager, It is how you use your introversion that makes it a powerful strength.
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For an introverted manager, thinking is doing.
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But thinking is internal and invisible. So, you have to communicate very clearly about it, to bring it to the external and visible. Instead of leaving your team guessing, the power comes in them understanding your process of thinking and responding, and valuing it. Understanding that a pause doesn’t (necessarily) mean disapproval or disagreement, that taking time to think doesn’t mean you’re “not getting it”. Understanding that you’re not trying to be unfriendly by wanting to eat lunch in the quiet of your office instead of in the activity of the break room. And sometimes it is about unlocking your thoughts and leading your team through the underlying ideas behind your responses, so they can see the strength you bring in the silent spaces of your mind.
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When you communicate and they understand your introverted way, your team members will receive the power from your introversion. Among a host more, this power might include:
- Thoughtful and wise guidance or ideas, when you do decide to speak.
- An understanding that when you say something, you mean it.
- A natural way to leave doors open for others to talk.
- Allowing your employees to get to their own answers versus laying out solutions.
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Among the Introverted: Gweneth Paltrow
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Needs of the Introverted Managers
It may be obvious, though not always valued, that introverted managers need time.
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Time to think, time to respond, time to ponder. This could be as simple as an extra pause with some blank space before responding (insert Jeopardy theme here), or as lengthy as a day or more to think over a bigger decision before verbalizing a plan or direction. Writing may also be the best way to an introverted manager’s heart. For example, sending your introverted manager a heads-up email before a meeting with a specific question or topic can lend to a much more robust discussion.
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Introverted managers (and team members, for that matter) cannot devalue scheduled time alone—you will make better decisions and deal better with the chaos-that-is-life when you have that time, almost no matter what the sacrifice. A closed door with a “be back in 30 minutes” sign may help, or in a cube environment, popping in those earbuds gives off the signal you are in the zone (even if there is nothing coming through the buds).
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Take the time, fill the need, and your introversion will thrive.
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Among the Introverted: Bill Gates
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So, if you, introverted one, find yourself in a management role or as a leader or leader-hopeful, use it. Don’t shy from it or try to be something you’re not wired to be. Communicate the power you have in your nature (in the most humble way possible of course!) and then lean into it with purpose. And you, team member to an introverted manager, remember that meeting his or her needs will set you up for the best success in the end, as you glean his wisdom after the (to you awkward, to him totally acceptable) pause or as you get the best of her through a thoughtful written response.
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USE THIS: Who do you know or suspect is introverted in your life or work? What need can you help him/her meet to support his/her success? Are you the introverted one? How well do you accept the power in your introversion? What is one insight you can communicate to your team members or peers that will help them understand your introversion and the benefit it could have to them?
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{Need a clue about your introverted nature and the other Talents you could be using more fully? Join 11.9 million and take the Gallup Clifton StrengthsFinder today.}
