From the school room to the board room, this one absolutely rears its ugly head. And most times, we do not even know how damaging it is.
After preschool one afternoon, as we lingered in the small moments between a full day and the evening routine, my 4 year old daughter picked at her popcorn and fruit leather. Without prompting, she looked up from her snack, looked me squarely in the eyes, and said “Brookie jumped the rope 14 times today.”
Almost instinctually, I responded, “Oh wow, that’s a lot. How many did you do?”
Immediately, I wish I had not.
Her eyes darted back to her popcorn, and she responded softly, guarded…”three.”
I remember this exact feeling. Wishing for more of something I did not have, all the while overlooking the very things I held in my own hand.
And I wish I could say that it was an experience for preschool. Instead, it is an experience that follows through the growing of life. From jump rope, to reading ability, to popularity, to sales skills, to people skills, to a promotion, and on and on.
Envy.
Somehow we have a sixth sense detection of the things others do better than we do. Gifts, ability, talent ooze from the people around us.
In addition to the damage it can cause to our relationships, it distracts our attention from the talent oozing from us. Instead of admiring a talent, assessing our own, and striving for greatness in our own way, we are distracted by the surplus of others compared to our own relative deficiency.
Envy is the doorway to a downward spiral.
I can certainly get stuck in this place.
Over the past several years, be it stage of life or line of work or a host of other life stories, I have consciously put strategies into place to combat envy. It has created some beautiful ends.
Like how much more I appreciate and notice the power and edge others have. Instead of begrudging their success, I can celebrate it with them {and help be a part of it to boot!}
I have been able to let go of the things that really are not natural Strengths of mine and be ok with it {think “Ideation #34″ like I mention in Episode 1}. This has allowed me a freedom to invite others into those areas and be better together than I could ever be on my own.
And, most significantly, it has allowed me to recalibrate my focus to be crystal clear about my Strengths and reallocate my time to focus significantly on sharpening and excelling in those natural areas. That has helped me claim my Strengths {even if they feel like entirely “administrative” Strengths at times…still working on owning that!} to get to success I dream of in the most energizing of ways.
Today, in Episode 21 of Isogo TV | Live and Work Your Strengths Video Podcast, What to do about Strengths Envy, I unpack the ins and outs of the envy over natural talents.
I share an example of a fantastic colleague who has used his Strengths to get to the end he was striving for {even though it wasn’t a natural Strength of his!} and two practical strategies for overcoming the drain of Envy.
I have seen it in the people around me {from my own table to the executive table} and I’m certainly living it, so join me to explore!
The most necessary first steps to get out of the envy spiral is to get very clear about your own strengths–what they are and how you use them {or could be using them!}.
And, you can do that TODAY.
It takes 35 minutes, and it is life changing.
You can do it right here in a bundle that includes the Gallup StrengthsFinder® AND Strengths Startup directly from me. StrengthsFinder zeros in on your natural talents and Strengths Startup is a 6-week customized email series that helps you begin to put Your Top 5 Strengths to work. If you’ve already done the StrengthsFinder assessment, you can get Strengths Startup all by itself {click here and scroll to the bottom to get access!}
So click on the infographic below to get started.
Thanks for reading and watching. I am so glad to be a part of your Strengths Journey!
LINKS | RESOURCES | a LITTLE ASK
Links & Resources from Today’s Episode
StrengthsFinder + Strengths Startup
the FIRST Isogo TV | Live and Work Your Strengths Video Podcast
My little ask?
If you loved this Episode and think others would benefit from it, please rate and review over at iTunes. It helps get the word out to others just like you! And I really appreciate it.
As always, one of the best places to join the Strengths conversation is over at our Facebook Group — Energy Up Frustration Down by Strengths. Join us for weekly chatting, complaining and commending, as we all try to figure out just how to use our Strengths to impact the most important things around us—in our work and life.
In the meantime and beyond, I would love to hear from you and help you. So, if you’re thinking about the way a Strengths-perspective could impact your marriage or your family or you’re just not so sure about it all, reach out, and let’s connect about it. You can catch me at Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, all @isogostrong, or by this handy contact form.
Enjoy your day, and {be strong}!
